Reflexive verbs
We are going to talk about a very interesting topic for those starting to learn Italian: reflexive verbs. If you have ever wondered why in Italian we say 'mi lavo' instead of 'lavo', or what the differences are between direct and indirect reflexive forms, this post will give you some insights and practical explanations.
Reflexivity: the action that comes back to us
Imagine looking in a mirror: what you see is yourself. In many Italian verbs, however, the action performed is directly reflected back to the person performing it.
For example, when we say "io mi lavo" (I wash myself), we do not simply mean "io lavo" (I wash) as if we were washing something external, but rather that the action of washing directly affects the subject: I wash myself (click here to learn more about reflexive verbs and daily routines in Italian).
How are they formed?
This reflexivity is made clear by the use of reflexive pronouns and they are formed using the reflexive pronoun + the verb. The reflexive pronouns are:
- mi (for io – I)
- ti (for tu – you [singular])
- si (for lui/lei/Lei – he/she/ [you formal])
- ci (for noi – we)
- vi (for voi – you [plural])
- si (for loro – they)
Example with the verb lavarsi (to wash) :
- Io mi lavo (I wash myself)
- Tu ti lavi (You wash yourself)
- Lui/Lei si lava (He/She washes himself/herself)
- Noi ci laviamo (We wash ourselves)
- Voi vi lavate (You wash yourselves)
- Loro si lavano (They wash themselves)
Click here to learn more about how the three families of verbs are used in Italian.
Let us take an everyday example:
- Io lavo i denti (I brush my teeth): here, the action is directed at an object, the teeth.
- Io mi lavo i denti (I brush my own teeth): here, the subject performs the action on themselves, emphasising that they are brushing their own teeth.
A matter of details: Direct, indirect and reciprocal reflexive verbs
Direct reflexive verbs
- Luca si siede al tavolo (Luca sits himself at the table): in other words, Luca sits himself down, emphasising that the action directly affects the subject.
- Giorgia si alza in piedi (Giorgia stands herself up) and tu ti asciughi (You dry yourself) work the same way.
When an action directly involves the subject, the reflexive pronoun plays a clear and recognisable role.
Indirect reflexive verbs: What are they and how do they work?
Indirect reflexive verbs are a special category of verbs that conjugate like normal reflexive verbs, but their pronoun (mi, ti, si, ci, vi, si) is not a direct object complement. In other words, the action does not refer directly to the subject, but to something else. For this reason, we cannot replace the pronoun with “me stesso” (myself’), "te stesso" (yourself), etc. as we can with direct reflexive verbs.
Let's look at some examples to get a better understanding:
- Io mi aspetto grandi cose da te. (I expect great things from you.)
Here, the object of the action is grandi cose (great things), not me stesso (myself).
The verb aspettarsi does not mean "to wait for oneself" but rather "to have expectations".
- Tu ti penti di averlo fatto. (You regret having done it.)
Here, the verb pentirsi does not mean "to regret yourself" but rather "to feel regret".
The action does not reflect directly back on the subject.
- Lei si ricorda di me. (She remembers me.)
The verb ricordarsi does not mean "to remember oneself" but simply "to have a memory of something or someone". Di me (of me) is the real object of the action.
- Noi ci fidiamo di te. (We trust you.)
The verb fidarsi does not mean "to trust ourselves" but rather "to have trust in someone".
- Loro si arrendono. (They are giving up.)
The verb arrendersi doesn't mean that the subject "gives up" but rather that they stop fighting or give in.
Reciprocal verbs
Finally, we have reciprocal verbs, which describe situations where two or more subjects perform an action towards each other. Think of situations like:
- I due bambini si abbracciano. (The two children hug each other.)
- Marta e Giorgio si amano. (Marta and Giorgio love each other.)
In these sentences, the action is shared, and the expression "l'un l'altro" (each other) can often be added to make the reciprocity clearer.
An overview of the most common reflexive verbs
To help you memorise and recognise these verbs, here are some lists you can refer to and use in your exercises:
Direct reflexive verbs
Alzarsi (to get up), asciugarsi (to dry oneself), bagnarsi (to get wet), fermarsi (to stop), lavarsi (to wash oneself), rilassarsi (to relax), sedersi (to sit down), svegliarsi (to wake up).
Indirect reflexive verbs (or pronominal verbs)
Accorgersi (to realise), addormentarsi (to fall asleep), ammalarsi (to get sick), chiamarsi (to be called), fidarsi (to trust), impossessarsi (to take possession of), mettersi (to put on), pentirsi (to regret), prendersi (to take for oneself), procurarsi (to obtain for oneself), ribellarsi (to rebel), ricordarsi (to remember), sentirsi (to feel).
Reciprocal verbs
Abbracciarsi (to hug each other), aiutarsi (to help each other), amarsi (to love each other), baciarsi (to kiss each other), conoscersi (to know each other), guardarsi (to look at each other), incontrarsi (to meet each other), lasciarsi (to break up), litigarsi (to argue with each other), scriversi (to write to each other), sentirsi (to keep in touch), vedersi (to see each other).
Tips for everyday use
✅ Whenever you use a reflexive verb, always put the reflexive pronoun (mi, ti, si, ci, vi, si) before the verb.
📝 Try to write some sentences using reflexive verbs.
For example:
Io mi sveglio alle 7:00. (I wake up at 7:00.)
Noi ci rilassiamo dopo il lavoro. (We relax after work.)
💡 Don’t be afraid to make mistakes! With practice, the use of reflexive verbs will become natural.
To conclude
Reflexive verbs are an essential part of the Italian language, and learning them will help you express yourself more fully and naturally. I hope this explanation has clarified things for you and given you new insights to explore this topic further.
Don’t be afraid of making mistakes—daily practice is the key to improvement!
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Learning Italian on your own requires commitment and dedication, but with the right strategies and resources, you can achieve your goal. Remember to have fun during the process and celebrate every little bit of progress. Enjoy your journey towards learning Italian!
If you would like to expand on any of the concepts or would like to speak to a native speaker teacher qualified in teaching Italian to foreigners, please contact me at info@appylanguage.com. I will be happy to meet you and guide you in a one-to-one online session. Happy learning!
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